Without boring you with a lot of silly details, let me just say this past week has been a tough one. I believed some lies.
Back up to a week ago. I couldn't sleep. I missed meals, for crying out loud. That's when you know it's bad. I had that thing called "Worry" staring me down. Hard.
Ok, jump back to this morning. I was reading my online devotional and ran across the account of Abraham and Isaac. This is where the first mention of worship is found in the Bible. Let's look at it together beginning in Genesis 22:3 So Abraham rose early in the morning and saddled his donkey, and took two of his young men with him and Isaac his son; and he split the wood for the burnt offering, and rose and went to the place of which God had told him. Then on the third day Abraham lifted his eyes and saw the place afar off. And Abraham said to his young men, "Stay here with the donkey; the lad and I will go younger and worship, and we will come back to you." (NKJV)
Worship didn't mean having a cool song by that one guy on the radio that made him close his eyes and sway to the music. It meant walking in obedience. Sacrificing his son because God told him to do so. Now that's obedience.
But look at those last words (emphasis mine.) "We will come back to you." We. Abraham and Isaac. Together.
So... huh? He was supposed to sacrifice his son. He went to Mt. Moriah to do it. And yet Abraham knew that God would keep His promise. The promise of an inheritance numbering the same as grains of sand. Stars in the sky. Worship of God meant being obedient. Doing what God asked of him. No matter what. And his profession of faith was that he and Isaac would return together. We'll be back.
Not worrying. Not missing sleep. Eating all the meals. Being obedient.
Go back to the beginning of last week. I had something so much smaller than God asking me to sacrifice my child. And yet I let it keep me awake, etc. And today God proved Himself to be faithful. Again. So I missed meals. Again. And missed sleep. Again. For no reason at all. Again.
Simple point: if I truly want to be someone who worships God (I sincerely do); I need to walk in obedience by not worrying or being fearful of things I cannot control.
Have you been there? The only thing that has helped me sleep at least a little is praying and asking, no, begging God to be on my side. Again.
The continuation of this story is for another time...
So I'm back to this after a break of a few years. It seems different. Odd. Yet I know I am supposed to do this.
A friend of mine told me I am to begin writing down the things which show God moving. Today. Last week. All of the things God has done to show His hand evidenced in my life.
And so I will begin here. At this place. Declaring His goodness and His mercy on an on-going basis. Writing it all down so others can see how God can take the mistakes of someone fully flawed and full of self and use them for His glory. Somehow through that process even helps me to be a better version of myself. The self who reflects the One who created me.
We'll see how this goes.