I have been sitting with my laptop in front of me for close to two hours.  I have started and subsequently deleted about a dozen different blog topics.  Doing this every day has left me... speechless.  

Now an Oehme at a loss for words is quite notable in and of itself.  That just doesn't happen.  Even my little granddaughter will gravitate toward a microphone in a room, look directly into the lens of any operating movie camera and begin singing.  We just aren't a shy bunch.  There is always something worth saying.

And this is the third time today I have been speechless.  

The other two times were in a group of people who had gathered for a specific function.  They were questioning God and His purposes.  For a bit, I was speechless.  I wasn't sure how to respond.  I didn't want to offend.  I didn't want to appear preachy.  More than that, I didn't want God to look bad.

As though that could actually happen.  

And I became speechless in a room full of people.   In my mind there were a myriad of remarks, bible verses and quotable quotes flying around in circles. Each was begging to be let out.   I wasn't sure which ones to say.   Nothing seemed quite right.  And so I said nothing. 


I repented to God for not saying the words I know to be true.  For caring more about what people thought of me than what they thought of Him.  

God is good.  He has opened a door for me to go back and talk to those same people tomorrow.  I have an opportunity to go back and share about the true and real love of God and His care for them.  

I won't back down this time.  I will be "prayed up" when I walk in the room.  I will be bold enough to say what He leads me to say, but not so bold as to take the credit for those words myself.  
 
If I allow God's spirit to speak through me instead of worrying about how I can word  something to make it seem cute... or witty.... or extremely intelligent... the words I speak will bring life.  They will build up.   My words will encourage.

Tomorrow I will have a new chance to speak to the group of people I should have shared with today.  I'm hoping the reason God is giving me a second chance is to show me He still trusts me to do this for Him.  To share His love with people who don't know Him personally.  To speak about Jesus.

I know I will have just the right amount of words to say.

And look at that.... my blog is finished.   Again.

Psalm 81:10  Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it with good things.