The urge to break down and bawl my eyes out for a few moments is overwhelming me at the moment.
And I don't know why.
Well, actually, I do. It's because I have become aware over the past few weeks of some very serious needs of people I know. Names from five different states have been added to my prayer list this week.
Now I have several hard and fast rules in my life and one of them is that no one cries alone in my presence. I have stuck like glue to that rule. It shows. Little mascara raccoon eyes.
I have been praying with people. Talking with people. Laughing with some and crying with others. It's all part of the job, I guess. Ministry gets messy.
As I was tossing and turning last night I was thinking about the people who need to have God show up in their lives in a big way. And then it hit me...
I was doing exactly what I tell people to never do... holding on to the problems. Keeping the needs in my mind and heart. What I should be doing is handing them over to God. Giving him the names of my friends and telling Him I fully rely on Him to meet those needs. I reminded God of His promises. His safe-keeping. His faithfulness. I know He knows all these things already, but I wanted to make sure He knew I remembered them.
So I did. I gave Him the problems one by one.
I lifted each friend by name. I gave Him their list of needs and reminded God that His plan for them was for good and not for harm. (Jeremiah 29:11) It's a theme I have been trying to live by since some time in the beginning of 2011. His plan. Not mine.
I am working at making myself available to Him for His purposes. Leaving my to do list with some room in it to allow Him to work through me. And boy, has He.
This is how it works in the ministry: someone comes to me and asks for prayer. I pray with them. Then when we are no longer together, I pray for them until I hear it's no longer necessary to do so, for whatever reason. Sounds easy, huh?
Unless I let their burdens become my burdens. It happens.
Then I have to cry to relieve the stress. Until that still, small voice speaks to my heart and tells me He is pretty amazing. If I will let Him have the burden, He can and will carry it for me better than I can ever do alone. (Matthew 11:30 -- my yoke is easy...).
I just need to make that a priority. I need to remember ministry isn't about me. it's about Him. He can do it better than I ever will. As long as I remember to let Him.
It's always good for a pastor to remember, God is in charge of the stuff only God can do. It's not my responsibility.
What I can do is... add waterproof mascara to the shopping list.
And I don't know why.
Well, actually, I do. It's because I have become aware over the past few weeks of some very serious needs of people I know. Names from five different states have been added to my prayer list this week.
Now I have several hard and fast rules in my life and one of them is that no one cries alone in my presence. I have stuck like glue to that rule. It shows. Little mascara raccoon eyes.
I have been praying with people. Talking with people. Laughing with some and crying with others. It's all part of the job, I guess. Ministry gets messy.
As I was tossing and turning last night I was thinking about the people who need to have God show up in their lives in a big way. And then it hit me...
I was doing exactly what I tell people to never do... holding on to the problems. Keeping the needs in my mind and heart. What I should be doing is handing them over to God. Giving him the names of my friends and telling Him I fully rely on Him to meet those needs. I reminded God of His promises. His safe-keeping. His faithfulness. I know He knows all these things already, but I wanted to make sure He knew I remembered them.
So I did. I gave Him the problems one by one.
I lifted each friend by name. I gave Him their list of needs and reminded God that His plan for them was for good and not for harm. (Jeremiah 29:11) It's a theme I have been trying to live by since some time in the beginning of 2011. His plan. Not mine.
I am working at making myself available to Him for His purposes. Leaving my to do list with some room in it to allow Him to work through me. And boy, has He.
This is how it works in the ministry: someone comes to me and asks for prayer. I pray with them. Then when we are no longer together, I pray for them until I hear it's no longer necessary to do so, for whatever reason. Sounds easy, huh?
Unless I let their burdens become my burdens. It happens.
Then I have to cry to relieve the stress. Until that still, small voice speaks to my heart and tells me He is pretty amazing. If I will let Him have the burden, He can and will carry it for me better than I can ever do alone. (Matthew 11:30 -- my yoke is easy...).
I just need to make that a priority. I need to remember ministry isn't about me. it's about Him. He can do it better than I ever will. As long as I remember to let Him.
It's always good for a pastor to remember, God is in charge of the stuff only God can do. It's not my responsibility.
What I can do is... add waterproof mascara to the shopping list.
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