You would think there are certain things about myself that would be so ingrained in me that I wouldn't have to think twice before making a decision that affects my ability to sleep.

Case in point:  when someone offers me a cup of full-caff coffee at 9;30 p.m., I should know enough to say "no thanks" instead of worrying that perhaps she made that pot of coffee because she thought I wanted some.  I didn't want to hurt her feelings.

What was I thinking?  

Here I am at 2:19 a.m. typing a blog just because I thought "hey, as long as I'm up, I should get something done instead of watching an infomercial."  (I don't do infomercials.)  Wait.... did I say typing a blog?  No... I'm typing a week's worth.  I might as well.  I'm wide awake.  (You can save these things as drafts so.... why not?)

I should be smarter than that.  I am smarter than that.  

So why didn't I do the thing I knew I should do?  

Paul got  it.  He understood how difficult it is to do the right thing.  This is Romans 7:14-15 from the Message Bible  What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary.

I know what to do.  But I cannot do it.  I decide one way, but act another.   Drinking coffee when I know I shouldn't.  Why?   Well, it tastes good and I like it.  But I KNOW better.  I need guidance.  Lots of it.

And there is only one place that guidance should come from as I am obviously incapable of making wise decisions all by myself.   But that's ok.   I'm good with God being the one who gets to be in control.  

He knows I shouldn't have caffeine after noon.  I need to remember to listen to Him more.